Relationship Mastery
I have been inspired by watching the Olympics these past weeks. I have loved the Summer and Winter Olympics for as long as I can remember. When I was 5 years old, I watched the Olympic gymnastics competition with wide eyes. The gymnasts made it look easy. So much so that I was convinced I could do it too.
I made up my little 5-year-old mind to do a perfect flip in the air off the stove and land on my feet. I remember climbing up on the stove and standing with complete confidence in my ability (even though I had never taken one gymnastics class). I knew I could do it!
I lept from my standing position on the stove, flipped in the air, and painfully landed on my butt. I was distraught and in total disbelief! I don't know if it was the literal pain I felt in my butt or my disappointment in my inability to "stick the landing" that hurt more.
Over time, I came to know that when I watched the Olympics, I was witnessing Mastery. The hours upon hours of consistent practice, drills, and strength training. Mastery does not come from wishful thinking. It comes from insisting on our success and constant practice. I couldn't have known that at 5 years old. As an adult, the concept of Mastery has been a game-changer.
Mastery is defined as comprehensive knowledge or skill in a subject or an accomplishment. We gain Mastery through practice, commitment, and discipline. When we master a skill, we make it look easy.
The Olympics have inspired me to consider how Mastery can impact our relationships. What would happen if we consciously practiced skills to cultivate loving, compassionate, and fulfilling relationships? What would happen if we decided to be a living, breathing demonstration of love in our relationships at all times? Our life and relationships as we know them would be transformed.
Here are a few points and tips to support you in being masterful in your relationships.
2. Develop a growth mindset.
When we approach our relationships from a growth mindset, we can learn from our mistakes. We assess our lessons learned and make a solid plan that will support us in moving forward with renewed energy.
Perfectionism is a fixed mindset. When we are in a fixed mindset, we are brutal with ourselves for making mistakes or missing the mark. When we are being hard on ourselves about our mistakes, it is nearly impossible to learn from them. Mastery of a skill does not equal perfection.
Think about the performances we've watched in the Olympics over the past few weeks. Even gold medal performances can have moments of imperfection. The key to moving forward in Mastery is to not allow challenges or stumbling blocks to stop our forward momentum.
2. Break down larger complex goals into small, manageable steps.
It's easy to feel overwhelmed when we think about making significant changes in our relationships. Change doesn't happen overnight. Even Mastery is created over time. Release the overwhelm by breaking down big goals into small manageable tasks.
Let's use the example of creating peace in your relationships. It happens over time by choosing to demonstrate peace, moment by moment, circumstance by circumstance. You are making more peace in your connections every time you select consensus over judgment or the need to be correct.
3. What we practice consistently, we eventually master.
What are you practicing in your relationships? Are you practicing consciously or unconsciously? These are vital questions to ponder. At times we struggle in our relationships because we are consistently practicing behaviors that erode the foundation of our relationships. We may be practicing judgment or hostility. Pay close attention to the feedback you usually receive in your intimate relationships. This feedback could provide clues of unconscious behaviors that may be causing problems in your relationships.
When we consciously practice a skill, like kindness, in our relationships, we create gentleness and safety with our loved ones. I encourage you to choose an experience you would like to grow in your relationships and build Mastery as you practice, practice, practice. Choose a quality that will uplevel your relationships, such as forgiveness. Be Brave and Go Big!!!
Love,
Danielle ❤️
