Lessons in Love

Meet Rocky! ( Also known as my Rocky Doodles)

Nine months ago, my family and I embarked on a journey that we will never forget. We spent countless, mind-numbing hours quarantining at home during the pandemic and had been contemplating getting a dog for years. After discussing the importance of shared responsibility and commitment to helping him adjust, we unanimously decided to move forward. We agreed to adopt a 2-year-old black, Lab mix. He was a rescue from the Homeless Animals Rescue Team (HART), and we named him Rocky.

My mother was an avid dog lover, so I grew up with dogs. Now, I know, of course, that some people are born with anxiety. I had no fricking idea that dogs could be anxious as well. That was until we adopted Rocky.

We were so excited about welcoming him into our home, but he wanted nothing to do with us. He hid from us in any corner or stairwell he could find. He was reluctant to eat or drink water around us. The second day we had him, he broke free while our daughters walked him and hid under the shed for almost 24 hours. Our girls were distraught! They are just starting to recover.

It wasn't until I received his medical records that I learned he was diagnosed with anxiety when he was just 6 months old. His behaviors all started to make sense. I went from feeling confused about his hesitation and fear to feeling complete compassion and a renewed commitment to make it my business to make sure he felt safe in his new home.

We hired a trainer to build his and our confidence. We worked together to make sure he was trained daily. We learned about the types of foods and toys he enjoyed most and surrounded him with the things he loved, especially high-value treats. Slowly he came around. Today, he's comfortable with the girls and us. He loves us to rub his belly, and he nudges us to pet him when he's bored.

It's been quite the journey. There have many opportunities to choose love over frustration. The more we love, the easier our journey together becomes. Here are some things I am remembering and rediscovering about love in our journey with Rocky.

1. Trust takes time to build.

Most dog experts say that it takes the average dog roughly 3 months to adjust to a new home environment. Well, that wasn't the case for us. It has taken us time to build trust with our pup and for him to trust us as well. I've had to constantly remind myself and my family to be patient with the process. I have been reminded that love is patient and kind, so I continuously seek to demonstrate patience and kindness towards our pup. It's been working. As a result, he has become my little shadow.

The same is true for our love relationships. It takes time to build trust. It isn't wise to completely let down our guard when interacting with a new love interest. We must take time to make sure that we are safe with them. It takes time to know if someone is worthy of our heart and will hold it sacred. Take the time to get to know someone who piques your interest, and be careful not to give too much of yourself too soon. Make sure they are worthy of you.

2. Consistency creates safety.

We are most definitely a family that thrives when we have a consistent schedule. This has worked to our advantage with Rocky. We take him out on daily walks at the same time, three times a day. He knows when he'll eat, and he naps at the same time every day. He also knows when it's time to settle down to sleep at night. Our schedule supports him in feeling safe and secure. My hope is that it makes him feel loved.

The same is true for our human love relationships. When we consistently show up for our loved ones, we create security in our connection in good times and not-so-good times. Being a demonstration of integrity secures our love relationships and creates a feeling of safety.

3. Love (i.e. (tummy rubs, cuddles, and treats) heals all wounds.

Rocky had his whole life turned upside down before he came to live with us. Two weeks before we adopted him, he had been shuffled to a foster family and then a kennel. Everything and everyone he knew from his previous life had been stripped away, but love is a healer.

Love is powerful! We make it a point to show Rocky love whenever he enters a room. We greet him, pet him, give him lots of cuddles and tummy rubs, and delight in his presence. He loves attention, and we give him lots of it.

I encourage you to readily show love to those you hold dear. You never know what a smile, hug, text, letter, or phone call can heal. Your gesture of love could be the cure for loneliness or sadness. It may be just what the doctor ordered for them and for you as well.

Sending you virtual hugs! ❤️🤗❤️

Danielle