Maintaining Healthy Relationships
I don't care what anyone says; relationships aren't easy. Relationships are work. Healthy relationships require commitment, patience, consistency, honesty, humility, authenticity, vulnerability, and forgiveness, and this list could go on and on. They command a willingness to keep loving when it's hard, as well as being a consistent stand for mutual love and respect.
For a relationship to work, both parties must be willing to show up fully by telling the truth about who they are, what they feel, and what they desire. I find that it's essential to remain curious about our loved ones as they grow and evolve, just like we will. Relationships flourish when we make room for constant changes that occur over time. Our bodies will change, our thoughts and ideas will change as we age and experience life. In healthy relationships, these changes are expected and welcomed.
Here are a few things I believe will support you in maintaining and strengthening your relationships:
1. Keep realistic expectations
Our loved ones are human and imperfect, just like us. They aren't going to always agree with our perspectives and points of view, and they're not supposed to. Believing that our partners must always agree with us is an unrealistic expectation and will cause unnecessary pressure and conflict in the relationship.
No one can be everything to us. Our partners can't be our best friend, teacher, mentor, counselor, a partner in crime, and battle buddy all rolled into one, and if they are, it is almost impossible for them to be this consistently. Because our partners can't be our everything, it's crucial to have a community of friends we can lean on.
2. Have open and productive communication
Our partners may also have times when they're stressed or overworked and perhaps not as available as we would like. Maybe your partner has developed a bad habit that we don't like. Finding ways to communicate your thoughts, feelings, and desires without eroding the foundation of your relationship is a skill that will create longevity in a relationship.
No one wants to feel like they have to go to battle every time there is a conversation about unfulfilled needs. Communicating our needs and requests with understanding, openness, and compassion will allow our partners to hear us and strengthen the relationship as opposed to destroy it.
3. Create adventures together.
I am an adventurer at heart. When I was a kid, I'd pedal as fast as I could on my bike down a steep hill (my knees still bear the proof of the numerous crashes). When I was 17 years old, it looked like driving across several states to NY with my younger sister in a rental car to see a friend visiting her family for the Summer. I still cringe when I think about how nervous our mother must have been. I won't even get into the wild adventures I had in my 20's.
Anyhoo, back to the point, I love to have fun. I love creating adventurous experiences and traveling the unbeaten path. Having fun is something I'm always harping on with my husband. At this point, I'm sure I sound like a broken record to him when I say, "We need to have some fun!"
In relationships, we can become too caught up in our everyday routines and obligations and forget to enjoy each other. I have failed to have fun for too long during this global pandemic. All of the changes and restrictions have had me hunkered down and focused on work and making sure that my teens have been fairing well with virtual schooling and life in general. When I forget to have fun, I feel drained, and everything I do feels like a chore, even relationships.
Over the past few months, I have chosen to play and find ways to invite my loved one to join along. When we play together, I come alive again, and our relationships flourish. We laugh, we joke, and we smile a lot!
Remembering to enjoy my life and the people I love is essential to maintaining my healthy and loving relationships. Recently I've gone hiking, Go Kart racing, and played random Uno games with crazy new rules with my family. I am grateful for the connection we reestablish and the joy we feel every time we have a new adventure together.
Yours in love and adventure,
Danielle ❤️
