Communicating Through Differences
If you are showing up authentically in your relationships, eventually, you will have the opportunity to navigate through a difference of ideas, perceptions, or opinions. Disagreements are a natural aspect of being human and relating to others. The problem arises when we have a low tolerance for other people's points of view that do not align with our own. Communicating through differences can also become nearly impossible when we can't handle the fact that others will disagree with our perspective.
By navigating through my heated conversations about differences, I have learned that we are each entitled to our opinions and how we view the world. Our unique life experiences formulate our beliefs about how communication and relationships work. We're not supposed to always agree with others and vise versa. Learning how to communicate through these uncomfortable moments makes all the difference.
Here are a few pointers that will support you in communicating through your differences.
1.Stay in the present moment.
One of the best ways to navigate through a difference of opinion is to stay in the present moment. Communication becomes messy when we leave the conversation of the present moment by bringing up the past. We can also hold ourselves back from saying what we need to say when our minds have wandered into the future, and we pause out of fear of how our truth will impact the relationship in the future.
Staying in the present moment requires us to be clear about what we feel about the conversation unfolding in front of us. When we are unaware of our feelings, we can easily confuse our present emotions with the unhealed emotions of the past. Know yourself and be willing to do your inner work to heal past hurts to be fully present when communicating with others.
2.Listen without your negative filter.
It is easy to listen through our judgmental filter when having a heated discussion. We have our ears locked and loaded, and we are immediately on stand-by to demolish an inaccurate or rude statement. When we listen through our negative filter, we are not present, and many times we aren't listening to what a person is communicating.
A practical skill we can use to manage our negative filter is active listening. When we use this skill effectively, we can focus on the person speaking (not on our internal dialogue). We can then understand what they are saying, comprehend their point of view (even if we disagree), and respond thoughtfully.
3.Communicate with integrity.
A sure-fire way to have a discussion turn into a heated argument is by making comments that hit below the belt. Unfortunately, when a difference of opinion triggers us, we can become frustrated and, in our frustration, seek to hurt or anger the person with whom we're communicating. Wreckless communication causes fractures in relationships. We say things in the heat of the moment that we can't take back and that we can't make others forget. Communicating with integrity supports us in being thoughtful and considerate when working through our differences.
When we communicate with integrity, we show honor and respect in our words and actions towards others, even if we disagree with their perspective. Learning how to manage our thoughts and feelings about the differences we have with others will support us with communicating with clarity and ease. It takes practice and a willingness to agree to disagree. And the realization that someone we love and respect may not always understand or agree with our point of view, and that's okay.
Love, ❤️
Danielle
P.S. I talk more in depth about communication in my book, Sacred Relationships. You can purchase it here to learn more http://bit.ly/sacredrelationshipsbook.
