Communication and Freedom
One of the key ingredients to creating freedom in our relationships is communication. Many of us struggle to communicate effectively. When I used to work with couples in counseling, 97% said that communication was a significant part of the issue that caused them to seek outside support.
Communication breakdowns lead to anger, frustration, and a lack of intimacy and trust in relationships. Think about relationships that are challenging to you. Those relationships are often full of misunderstandings and missed opportunities for genuine connection. Now think about the relationships that feel fulfilling. I'm sure that communication is free-flowing and feels safe in those relationships.
Here are a few communication tips to infuse your relationships with freedom.
1. Match your verbal and non-verbal cues.
It is said that non-verbal communication accounts for 70%-90% of the message conveyed when we speak, but what does this really mean? It means that people are more tuned in to our tone of voice, body language, facial expressions, eye contact, and energy than the words we speak.
Incongruent communication often happens when the message we're speaking doesn't match our body language. Have you ever been able to tell that someone was upset with you by the way they said hello? Greetings are usually pleasant, but we may say hello in a less than welcoming angry or curt tone when we're upset.
When we have congruent verbal and nonverbal cues, the message we're speaking (verbal cue) is the same as our body language (nonverbal cue). Unified communication enhances freedom because it allows us to trust the message and the messenger.
2. Listening with openness and no hidden agenda.
Learning to be present when someone is speaking to us allows them to feel honored and respected, enhancing the feelings of freedom and connection.
When we're present, our minds are clear. We do not have a parade of thoughts running while the person is speaking. We also are not trying to think of how to respond. When we listen with an open heart and mind with no hidden agenda, our responses are relevant to what the speaker is communicating, and they feel heard.
3. Freely share your hopes and dreams.
When we freely share our hopes and dreams in our relationships, we allow others to know us. Learning how to open up and be vulnerable with others creates connections. It is a new opportunity to understand that we matter to them. When we feel safe to be ourselves and share our deepest desires without judgment or scrutiny, we feel free.
I encourage you to give others the honor of knowing the real you. Share yourself and your heart with the people who matter to you and create a safe space for them to do the same with you. Your relationships will be better for it.
Next week we'll be discussing how respect creates freedom in our relationships. I'm looking forward to unpacking this concept with you.
In the meantime, be blessed!
Love, ❤️
Danielle
