Changing Your Mind About Love
Your mind is powerful. Your love life is directly impacted by the stories you tell yourself about what is possible for you. The beliefs you hold about life and love impact the way you show up in your relationships. Your thought impacts whether you're open and accessible to others or whether you are timid or guarded in your interactions. Your thoughts impact how easy it is for others to know you, and vise versa.
It is often said that 'Thoughts create things". So what are you manifesting with your ideas about love? In truth, we are constantly producing our relationship experiences based off of what we're thinking. So this leaves me to ask: Are you thinking thoughts that will move you forward in love, or are you thinking thoughts that keep you stuck? If your thoughts are keeping you stuck, it's time to change your mind about love.
There lots of reasons why we get stuck in our thinking about love (we'll save that topic for another blog post). Here are a few tips that can support you in changing your mind about love.
1. Upgrade your thinking
Sometimes we hold on to outdated ideas about love that keeps us stuck and feeling broken. We have a running loop of repetitive negative thoughts, also known as cognitive distortions.
We think things like, "No one will ever love me" There are no good men/women out there!" "Relationships are a waste of time" "What's the use in trying?" If thoughts create things, can you imagine the types of "things" or relationships you are manifesting with these thoughts? Yikes!!!! Cue the horror music…
What are you creating with your thoughts?
If you find yourself thinking such thoughts, it's time to upgrade your thinking. The following two points discuss how to do just that. Time for an upgrade!!!! Let's Go!
2. Neutralize your negative thoughts
When we neutralize our negative thoughts, we take the "heat" off them by dialing down the negativity. We do this by challenging the negative conclusions, which allows us to release our judgments.
Let's use a concrete example to show how to do this. If your negative thought is, "No one will ever love me." you can challenge this thought by asking yourself, "Is it true that no one would ever love me?" The answer, of course, is a resounding NO! This statement isn't true; even if you haven't felt loved in a relationship, it does not mean that you will "never" be loved.
Neutralizing our negative thoughts allows us to find a healthy middle ground. It's not about adopting a positive pollyanna point of view of love by thinking that nothing discouraging or disappointing will ever happen to us. It's hard to trust in love again after we've been disappointed. So instead, we begin to change our minds about love by entertaining new, realistic, and productive ideas that will move us forward.
3. Create new, productive ideas about love.
It takes time and consistent effort to cultivate new ideas about love, especially after navigating through heartbreak. We do this by holding on to the hope that our future can be different from our past. We also take time to shift how we're thinking about love and what is possible for us.
If you find yourself thinking negative, repetitive thoughts about love, it's time for you to shift gears. You can do this by clarifying what you desire to experience and affirm the experience you're going for now; instead of holding on to the belief that there are no good men or women to date, open yourself to the possibility of changing your thoughts.
A new, productive thought would be, "I may not have met the one who is the best fit for me yet, but it doesn't mean they don't exist." Productive thoughts about love support us in holding on to hope and continue to show up for love, no matter what.
I encourage you to make this bold affirmation, "I am open and receptive to love." Repeat it often, post it on your work computer or on your bathroom mirror. Allow this affirmation to support you in changing your mind about love.
Love always,
Danielle ❤️
